Underdog Sympathizer Pillows

'Let's go home, coach. If God was going to intervene with a miracle and change the final score to save your job, it would have happened by now.'

The hardest instrument to play second fiddle.

"What happened, honey? Was your team defeated again?"

'I know you can't win them all, but just once I wish I could scrape together the entry fee!'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Eat my dust!"

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

The Leafs win the Cup!

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

Runt! You'll never make the team. We'll see! You can't even tie your shoelace! Great technique!

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

David and Goliath.

'Haven't they found you a chair, yet Cludmore?'

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

Ant holds up the word 'TRIUMPH'.

"Thank you, Sir."

Soldier to David about Goliath: 'You did that with a step, a flick and a follow-through? Talk about high impact exercise!'

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'

"Like many attorneys I was the runt of the litter."

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

"Not many of you may agree with me..."

'Oh great, we'll never win with this nerd on our team.'

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

"This is Thurgood. He specializes in beaten-down stocks."

March 8, 2030: the debut of 'Rocky 19.'

"It says here researchers have found we're not as smart as some people believe."

Masochistic Soccer Fan

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'