Cheerful Underdog Pillows

'The way I look at it, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game.'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Eat my dust!"

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

Men can show their emotions!

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Haven't they found you a chair, yet Cludmore?'

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'

Soldier to David about Goliath: 'You did that with a step, a flick and a follow-through? Talk about high impact exercise!'

"Thank you, Sir."

"Not many of you may agree with me..."

Amputee watches wealthy man who has a spare set of legs.

'Oh great, we'll never win with this nerd on our team.'

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

"Like many attorneys I was the runt of the litter."

Cleaner in front of interview panel - 'So what makes you want to apply for the job of Equity Fund Manager?'

Masochistic Soccer Fan

'Determined little guy.'

"I'm feeling generous."

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

"Way to go, guys! When I gave you that pep talk before the game I didn't actually think you'd score a goal!"