Cheerful Underdog Gifts

'The way I look at it, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game.'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Eat my dust!"

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

The Leafs win the Cup!

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

Runt! You'll never make the team. We'll see! You can't even tie your shoelace! Great technique!

Men can show their emotions!

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

"The good news is it's brightening up..."

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners

'Haven't they found you a chair, yet Cludmore?'

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

"Thank you, Sir."

Ant holds up the word 'TRIUMPH'.

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'

Soldier to David about Goliath: 'You did that with a step, a flick and a follow-through? Talk about high impact exercise!'

'Oh great, we'll never win with this nerd on our team.'

"Not many of you may agree with me..."

"Like many attorneys I was the runt of the litter."

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

Amputee watches wealthy man who has a spare set of legs.

Cleaner in front of interview panel - 'So what makes you want to apply for the job of Equity Fund Manager?'

March 8, 2030: the debut of 'Rocky 19.'

"It says here researchers have found we're not as smart as some people believe."

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

Ballad of a Replacement Player

"I'm feeling generous."

"Way to go, guys! When I gave you that pep talk before the game I didn't actually think you'd score a goal!"

Masochistic Soccer Fan