Proud Underdog Gifts

Say it loud! We suck and we're proud!

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Eat my dust!"

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

The Leafs win the Cup!

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

Runt! You'll never make the team. We'll see! You can't even tie your shoelace! Great technique!

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners

'Haven't they found you a chair, yet Cludmore?'

David and Goliath.

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'

Ant holds up the word 'TRIUMPH'.

"Thank you, Sir."

Soldier to David about Goliath: 'You did that with a step, a flick and a follow-through? Talk about high impact exercise!'

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

'Oh great, we'll never win with this nerd on our team.'

Stop the big guy!

"Not many of you may agree with me..."

Published but unread poet.

"Like many attorneys I was the runt of the litter."

Amputee watches wealthy man who has a spare set of legs.

March 8, 2030: the debut of 'Rocky 19.'

"It says here researchers have found we're not as smart as some people believe."

Masochistic Soccer Fan

'Determined little guy.'

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

Ballad of a Replacement Player

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'