Underdog Fan Gifts

"You can't bully me."

"Kid, you got a 'While You Were Out' message."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

The trauma of losing.

"Eat my dust!"

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Haven't they found you a chair, yet Cludmore?'

David and Goliath.

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

"We're mythical. Have fun with it."

"Thank you, Sir."

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'

Soldier to David about Goliath: 'You did that with a step, a flick and a follow-through? Talk about high impact exercise!'

"Like many attorneys I was the runt of the litter."

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

Stop the big guy!

'Oh great, we'll never win with this nerd on our team.'

"Not many of you may agree with me..."

Published but unread poet.

"I found a portal to another world. I found peril and adventure, and the courage to survive. But, no, I didn't find the remote."

"This is Thurgood. He specializes in beaten-down stocks."

Undercover Agent

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'