Underdogs Pillows

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

The trauma of losing.

"Eat my dust!"

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

The Leafs win the Cup!

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

Runt! You'll never make the team. We'll see! You can't even tie your shoelace! Great technique!

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners

David and Goliath.

'Haven't they found you a chair, yet Cludmore?'

'I can't figure out whether I'm a secretary or an executive - I do executive work, but get secretarial pay.'

Soldier to David about Goliath: 'You did that with a step, a flick and a follow-through? Talk about high impact exercise!'

Ant holds up the word 'TRIUMPH'.

"Thank you, Sir."

"Not many of you may agree with me..."

"I've had enough of character building, Dad. Can I support a successful team now?"

"Like many attorneys I was the runt of the litter."

Published but unread poet.

'Oh great, we'll never win with this nerd on our team.'

Stop the big guy!

Cleaner in front of interview panel - 'So what makes you want to apply for the job of Equity Fund Manager?'

"It says here researchers have found we're not as smart as some people believe."

March 8, 2030: the debut of 'Rocky 19.'

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

Ballad of a Replacement Player

'I gave him the old one-two, but then he gave me three, four, five, six, seven and eight!'

Balloons vs. Rockets

Masochistic Soccer Fan

'Determined little guy.'