Management Underdog Pillows

"If we get out of this alive, I'm signing up for that management class."

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

Work Slave

'I'm delegating everything but my paycheck and my snazzy office to you.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

'Great job at today's meeting, Dunwoody. You're finally discovering your own voice as a yes-man!'

Go slow delegating authority. First learn how to delegate blame.

'This is impressive, Roberts, but I'm not sure that it qualifies as work-place leadership.'

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

'It's signed by the entire office. You're not too popular areound here, are you?'

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

"The boss is the fatherly type. He never fires anybody."

'I can't figure out whether I'm a secretary or an executive - I do executive work, but get secretarial pay.'

'I have great job security since management doesn't even know I work here.'

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

'We're streamlining efficiency by cutting the staff we employed to improve efficiency.'

"I can't promote you to that position ... you'd be perfect for the job."

'Now THIS is my idea of a creative department.'

'He pats my back, but I don't pat his.'

'This is so much easier than getting volunteers.'

"It says 'how about putting a slot in the suggestion box'. Well, I don't know how that got in there."

I have the feeling we are being micromanaged...

"Our investigation has concluded that your boss isn't stalking you, Mr. Beamon. He's just micromanaging."

"I'm not sure they fully understand the concept of annual stocktaking."

'My mother made me apply.'

"It's just that sometimes, I feel like I'm on a sinking ship!"

"Ever notice how he wants to go with a team management approach after things go wrong?"

Reactive/Proactive