Management Underdog Pillows

"If we get out of this alive, I'm signing up for that management class."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

Work Slave

'I'm delegating everything but my paycheck and my snazzy office to you.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

'Great job at today's meeting, Dunwoody. You're finally discovering your own voice as a yes-man!'

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

Go slow delegating authority. First learn how to delegate blame.

'This is impressive, Roberts, but I'm not sure that it qualifies as work-place leadership.'

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

'It's signed by the entire office. You're not too popular areound here, are you?'

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

"The boss is the fatherly type. He never fires anybody."

'I have great job security since management doesn't even know I work here.'

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

'I can't figure out whether I'm a secretary or an executive - I do executive work, but get secretarial pay.'

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

'We're streamlining efficiency by cutting the staff we employed to improve efficiency.'

"I can't promote you to that position ... you'd be perfect for the job."

'This is so much easier than getting volunteers.'

'He pats my back, but I don't pat his.'

'Now THIS is my idea of a creative department.'

"It says 'how about putting a slot in the suggestion box'. Well, I don't know how that got in there."

I have the feeling we are being micromanaged...

"I'm not sure they fully understand the concept of annual stocktaking."

"Our investigation has concluded that your boss isn't stalking you, Mr. Beamon. He's just micromanaging."

'My mother made me apply.'

"It's just that sometimes, I feel like I'm on a sinking ship!"

Reactive/Proactive