Video Call Connoisseur Gifts

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

Men gossiping

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"Indeed - you're Mr. Gurkenman! After all the 200m meetings I remembered you much smaller!"

Your Leaders Putting Words Into More Words

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"But rather than me just sitting here talking, why don't we watch this video of me sitting here talking?"

"Off to work, Hon. See you tonight."

White Wine Wisdom (2)

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. What do "man-to-man talks" usually consist of? What? I've never really had one, I don't think. What usually goes into them? Sports? Shaving? Carburetors? A little of this, a little of that. There's a proper ratio, of course. I'm not good at math.

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

Telecommuting doesn't hold up well during team building trust exercises.

It is nice to connect with family from other planets

'... Press 7 to admit defeat...'

"He says he's a Professor of Rhetoric but I'm not persuaded."

"Hold that afterthought!"

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

'You do obscenity very well. Can you talk without being obscene as well?'

"Wow, Greg's background makes it look like he's in space!"

"There's a kind of rhythm to making money that something inside me responds to."

'This is our real-time chat room.'

"I want you to meet these guys-they've got the hottest new stupid thing on the Internet."

"....and Brian, down there, is just here to even out our grid."

Working from Home

"And from now on these staff meetings will be conducted online. You people are a breeding ground for germs."

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"

"The demise of psychoanalysis? Yes, I saw it coming but you know how it is... denial... repression... projection... compartmentalisation..."