Vice Squad Member Gifts

Tunnel of Love

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

"Thanks for coming in."

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"That was before I found this amazing new way to earn $$$ working from home."

What Sisyphus Learned: "When life gets rough, you sure find out who your friends are!"

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"You can do it!"

"I volunteer for the Samaritans. I tried to phone in sick this morning but they talked me out of it."

Snow White and the Seven Dorks.

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

The six stages of hard drive death and dying.

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Batfan" in Dallas, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. My girlfriend is refusing to go see "Justice League" because she things Marvel's take on the genre is the only way to do it. How do I get her to be more open-minded and tolerant? You don't! Just become less open-minded yourself. You can't change other people, you can only seek vengeance upon them. Um ... Do you happen to have Doctor Phil's number?

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

REPORT CARD, 'This is going to be tough to spin.'

'Heel! HEEL! Bad potato!'

"Here's your support, Dad, and here's mine."

Passengers flee a Boeing aircraft.

"I've joined the world's fastest growing social media website..."

'It's the law. Everybody wears seat belts.'

'Your car broke down? Oh, my. Well, don't panic. Just be there for it. Listen and try to be supportive.'

'Are you crazy! The nest is made of dry grass and twigs: Smoking is a massive fire harzard!'

Target practice

'Thanks for not letting cancer define who you are.'

'The buck teeth, the thick glasses, the white socks, the pocket protector.... You're a software pirate, aren't you?'

Ladies in pink, thank you.

Meet Mister Printer!

'Do you have to bring your homework home with you?!'

'C'mon, Alan, it was just a joke! Don't you think you're overreacting?'