School Squad Member Gifts

"You're right, that new girl has a great personality, terrific hair, and dynamite figure, so we agree....we hate her, right?"

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

Good Luck in your Exams.

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

'First semester, you learn the numbers. Second semester, you use them to count the days 'til school is out.'

Cocoa. Make it a double. Sure, Myles. Coming up. Here ya go. Double today; everything okay? Oh yeah, sure. What's not okay about realizing 3rd grade means a whole bunch of homework and Sally Anne Peters wanting to talk about feelings? Tell me all this weirdness ends soon. Triple on the house.

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

"That was before I found this amazing new way to earn $$$ working from home."

What Sisyphus Learned: "When life gets rough, you sure find out who your friends are!"

"Man! I haven't slept at all since school started!"

"I volunteer for the Samaritans. I tried to phone in sick this morning but they talked me out of it."

"You can do it!"

Back to School: 'Thanks for reminding me!'

'If I keep bringing diseases home from school, maybe I shouldn't go to school.'

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

A Lesson in Leadership: Misplacing your keys isn't a problem, unless you have to enlist the whole school's support to find them.

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Batfan" in Dallas, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. My girlfriend is refusing to go see "Justice League" because she things Marvel's take on the genre is the only way to do it. How do I get her to be more open-minded and tolerant? You don't! Just become less open-minded yourself. You can't change other people, you can only seek vengeance upon them. Um ... Do you happen to have Doctor Phil's number?

"This has been a productive homework session!"

'I'm not enjoying my childhood, I'm dealing with it.'

REPORT CARD, 'This is going to be tough to spin.'

"I heard you may be looking for an assistant in cell growth!"

"This way, O' Brien."

"You must be doing something wrong ... none of your work has any gold stars on it."

Target practice

We couldn't convince the football players to give up their bottled water. Hmpf. As eco club president

'It's the law. Everybody wears seat belts.'

'Are you crazy! The nest is made of dry grass and twigs: Smoking is a massive fire harzard!'

Passengers flee a Boeing aircraft.

"School is loverly this time of year."

'I just can't take the eraser bits, the spit balls and the insults anymore!'