Veterinary Visits Pillows

'You want to stick that thermometer where?'

'Next please.'

"We're just going for a routine checkup ... they only do that operation once."

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

Big dog in a vet's waiting room.

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Lactose Intolerant

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

Young Dr. Dolittle.

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

Dog wearing a cone

"A CAT scan? Are you sure?"

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

"Fill it up!"

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

'The good news is that you don't have mad cow's disease. The bad news is you are lactose intolerant.'

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'