Post-vet Visit Pillows

Dog wearing a cone

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

"Janet, please. I'm calling the vet's office to check their lost and found. That's the last place I saw my nuts."

'Doctor, I think he knows where he is.'

"We're just going for a routine checkup ... they only do that operation once."

'No need to shout.'

'What do you mean I've got fleas? I want a second opinion!'

'I think we need to do some updated x-rays - these appear to be four lives ago, Mr. Jingles.'

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"Yes, you were in a breech position, and it was the first time I was really pleased to see the vet..."

'Sure I sleep all day. She snores all night.'

"Anxiety? No, nothing that I've noticed out of the ordinary."

"Give him one of these 3 times a day and tummy rubs as needed."

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'You want to stick that thermometer where?'

'This is taking longer than my stay in hospital!'

'The vet will see, you know!'

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

'They should have extra-small thermometers for Yorkies, Doctor!'

"May I keep my collar on?"

'Who's next?'

"Actually, I didn't become dizzy and nauseous until I started inhaling the scent strips in the waiting room magazines."

'You treated his ears last year, but I guess the medicine didn't work because he's still shaking his head!"

'$200 for bladder stones? NOW I know what they meant by 'precious stones'!'

'Here, takes these...we're going to need a urine sample from him right now.'

'The fee? Well, let's give the old wheel a spin and see what comes up!'

Could I trade in this greyhound for a dachshund? My doctor says I have to slow up.

Big dog in a vet's waiting room.

'To cure your dog I suggest you change your aftershave lotion, Mr Lutshbuddle.'