Veterinary Visit Veteran Pillows

"Going to the vet for worming tablets is so embarrassing: I order mine online now..."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Dog wearing a cone

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

"We're just going for a routine checkup ... they only do that operation once."

"I can't stop licking my boo-boo."

'Doctor, I think he knows where he is.'

"Janet, please. I'm calling the vet's office to check their lost and found. That's the last place I saw my nuts."

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

'No need to shout.'

'What do you mean I've got fleas? I want a second opinion!'

"Anxiety? No, nothing that I've noticed out of the ordinary."

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"Yes, you were in a breech position, and it was the first time I was really pleased to see the vet..."

"Give him one of these 3 times a day and tummy rubs as needed."

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'You want to stick that thermometer where?'

'This is taking longer than my stay in hospital!'

'The vet will see, you know!'

"May I keep my collar on?"

'They should have extra-small thermometers for Yorkies, Doctor!'

"Actually, I didn't become dizzy and nauseous until I started inhaling the scent strips in the waiting room magazines."

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

For Heavens sake - don't let your pet watch manga cartoons on TV anymore!

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

We'd like to run a few tests to see how this thing works.

She pulls to the left.

'The fee? Well, let's give the old wheel a spin and see what comes up!'

Could I trade in this greyhound for a dachshund? My doctor says I have to slow up.

Big dog in a vet's waiting room.

'Of course I don't think you are silly, Mrs. Fifner. A dog doesn't have to be a purebred in order for you to love it."

'Here, takes these...we're going to need a urine sample from him right now.'

'To cure your dog I suggest you change your aftershave lotion, Mr Lutshbuddle.'