Vet Visit Veteran Pillows

'What do you mean I've got fleas? I want a second opinion!'

'DOCTOR! Are you listening to me?'

Dog wearing a cone

'Doctor, I think he knows where he is.'

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

Could I trade in this greyhound for a dachshund? My doctor says I have to slow up.

'The fee? Well, let's give the old wheel a spin and see what comes up!'

'Sandra missed school today because of this appointment. Will you please write an excuse note for her?"

"I'm sure this is an interesting story."

"Worms."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

"Janet, please. I'm calling the vet's office to check their lost and found. That's the last place I saw my nuts."

"We're just going for a routine checkup ... they only do that operation once."

'No need to shout.'

'I think we need to do some updated x-rays - these appear to be four lives ago, Mr. Jingles.'

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"Give him one of these 3 times a day and tummy rubs as needed."

"Yes, you were in a breech position, and it was the first time I was really pleased to see the vet..."

"Anxiety? No, nothing that I've noticed out of the ordinary."

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

'You want to stick that thermometer where?'

'This is taking longer than my stay in hospital!'

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

'The vet will see, you know!'

"Actually, I didn't become dizzy and nauseous until I started inhaling the scent strips in the waiting room magazines."

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

"May I keep my collar on?"

'They should have extra-small thermometers for Yorkies, Doctor!'

'You treated his ears last year, but I guess the medicine didn't work because he's still shaking his head!"

We'd like to run a few tests to see how this thing works.

'$200 for bladder stones? NOW I know what they meant by 'precious stones'!'

'Of course I don't think you are silly, Mrs. Fifner. A dog doesn't have to be a purebred in order for you to love it."