Hospital Visit Veteran Pillows

'This is taking longer than my stay in hospital!'

We'd like to run a few tests to see how this thing works.

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Barbeque Casualty.

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"We need to update your entire operating system."

Dog wearing a cone

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

"Hey, I got you a beautiful orchid to cheer you up until it turns into just a stick protruding from dirt."

Being Serenading in Casualty

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

Hospital Departments

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

Hospital.

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

"So what brings you in today?"

"I can't stop licking my boo-boo."

"She's in room 334 but she's only allowed to see people who haven't annoyed her for 15 years."

'Here's one I made earlier!'

'Doctor, I think he knows where he is.'

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

'What do you mean I've got fleas? I want a second opinion!'

Scared husband needs to have scans done in children's exam room.

Zika Epidemic

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

"Are they called 'x-rays' because the alphabet wasn't finished when they were invented?"

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

"Tell her the surgeon is the best in his field and she'll get through this fine!"

The Children's Hospital