Hospital Visitors Pillows

Although grateful, George thought his visitors overdid it with the chocolates.

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

Barbeque Casualty.

"We need to update your entire operating system."

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

Being Serenading in Casualty

"Hey, I got you a beautiful orchid to cheer you up until it turns into just a stick protruding from dirt."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

'The good news is that you don't have mad cow's disease. The bad news is you are lactose intolerant.'

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

'Whatever it is, you've got it bad and that ain't good.'

Hospital Departments

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

Hospital.

"She's in room 334 but she's only allowed to see people who haven't annoyed her for 15 years."

"So what brings you in today?"

'Here's one I made earlier!'

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

Scared husband needs to have scans done in children's exam room.

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

'You're eating too much roughage.'

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

"Are they called 'x-rays' because the alphabet wasn't finished when they were invented?"

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

'This is taking longer than my stay in hospital!'

'I'm sorry, but I can't tell you which room the star basketball player is recovering in.'

'Which arrow points to my office?'

"Tell her the surgeon is the best in his field and she'll get through this fine!"

The Children's Hospital

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'