Veterinarian Visits Pillows

"Janet, please. I'm calling the vet's office to check their lost and found. That's the last place I saw my nuts."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

Dog wearing a cone

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

"I'm afraid, Mr. Cottontail, that all that hopping down the bunny trail has taken a toll on your hips."

"Sorry - my dog is at the vet. This one is a loaner."

A classic case of 'Cow-Worm'.

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

Conspiracy Cat

'Who's next?'

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

"Doc, can you make my bite worse than my bark? You see there's this cat . . ."

'I've stopped him using the exercise bike...'

"He wants a second opinion."

'He wants a second opinion.'

"I am absolutely unable to pill my cat."