Veterinarian Visits Pillows

"Janet, please. I'm calling the vet's office to check their lost and found. That's the last place I saw my nuts."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

Dog wearing a cone

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

"I'm afraid, Mr. Cottontail, that all that hopping down the bunny trail has taken a toll on your hips."

"Sorry - my dog is at the vet. This one is a loaner."

Conspiracy Cat

A classic case of 'Cow-Worm'.

'Who's next?'

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

'He wants a second opinion.'

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

'I heard him mention your name, what does neutered, mean?'

"He wants a second opinion."

"I am absolutely unable to pill my cat."

"Doc, can you make my bite worse than my bark? You see there's this cat . . ."