Vermin Vigilante Pillows

'There goes the scourge of this county.'

Black Death plague was caused by human fleas and body lice, not rats, study says.

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

"You're stealing from the rich and selling it to the poor on Craigslist?"

'Well, Mr. 'I don't need any sunblock', what have you got to say for yourself now?'

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

The new global mantra flag for the future

"Beware of God"

About 40% of the nation's coronavirus deaths could have been prevented...

You can relax now.

Johnson allows the Delta variant to run wild in Britain

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

'Drugs' 'Viruses'.

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

Guns won't help

Wrong ways to wear a face mask.

"Walter had an attack of road rage in the driveway."

'Well doctor, is it serious?'

'Hacking into our system is one way to get my attention.'

'There's a gleam in his eye!'

Omicron: "Viva 2022!"

Ebola Clinic

Fair readers, please accept these personal tips for remaining healthy and germ free. Public service announcement! Keep your stress low. Exercise, eat right, hydrate and try to get a little affection in your life, if you get my meaning. If you use someone else's computer, wipe down the keyboard with alcohol to kill the germs. Ditto with the mouthpiece of a borrowed cellular phone. Don't touch anything or anyone. Bathe yourself in hand sanitizer. Don't leave the house, and if you do, don't inhale

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I wish I had emotions like people do. I wish I could think as logically as people do. I'd like to take a walk along the shoreline without rusting. Storing energy in a battery rather than a pot belly would be nice. Having a sense of humor would be fun. The ability to selectively delete memories would be great to have. I wish I didn't have to worry about digital viruses. I wish I didn't have to worry about biological viruses.

"What happened to what cat?"

"My goodness, Gurkenham! This is the worst case of identity theft I've ever seen!"

'I don't know what it is. It showed up right after I invented agriculture.'

"I do wish they'd hurry up with that vaccine, so I can get back to worrying about dying of something else."