Germ Vigilante Pillows

Wrong ways to wear a face mask.

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

'Well, Mr. 'I don't need any sunblock', what have you got to say for yourself now?'

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

The new global mantra flag for the future

"Relax. They're just crows."

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

You can relax now.

"Beware of God"

About 40% of the nation's coronavirus deaths could have been prevented...

Johnson allows the Delta variant to run wild in Britain

This might take a while

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

"Maybe a little inconvenient, but not a single case of the flu in the entire office."

Guns won't help

'Drugs' 'Viruses'.

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

"It's the Grammar Police! Have you been using 'your' when you should be using 'you're' again?"

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

"Stocks closed higher on news that despite market volatility, Edgar Freund, just an average investor from Petoskey, Michigan, decided not to sell anything."

Trick or Treatment.

'Well doctor, is it serious?'

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I wish I had emotions like people do. I wish I could think as logically as people do. I'd like to take a walk along the shoreline without rusting. Storing energy in a battery rather than a pot belly would be nice. Having a sense of humor would be fun. The ability to selectively delete memories would be great to have. I wish I didn't have to worry about digital viruses. I wish I didn't have to worry about biological viruses.

Fair readers, please accept these personal tips for remaining healthy and germ free. Public service announcement! Keep your stress low. Exercise, eat right, hydrate and try to get a little affection in your life, if you get my meaning. If you use someone else's computer, wipe down the keyboard with alcohol to kill the germs. Ditto with the mouthpiece of a borrowed cellular phone. Don't touch anything or anyone. Bathe yourself in hand sanitizer. Don't leave the house, and if you do, don't inhale

"What happened to what cat?"

Omicron: "Viva 2022!"

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

'There's a gleam in his eye!'

Contagious Diseases.

Ebola Clinic

"The sheep all have rabies. Pass it on."

"I do wish they'd hurry up with that vaccine, so I can get back to worrying about dying of something else."

Keep out - Covid-19