Verbal Velocity Fan Gifts

"Idolistentopodcastsatdoublespeed. How'dyouknow?"

"Staff support"

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

"Wow, what a DILF."

"Destroyers"

"The people will not tolerate people speaking on behalf of the people any longer!"

"Oh, that's just one of those special effects for a film they're making here."

"Welcome to the Desert Writing Workshop. Today we will focus on irony."

Pearls Before Swine is not a terribly savvy name

A servant unfamiliar with his mistress's voice

Communication on a bus

A watched kettle never boils.

Only a handful of people are this small.

"I like to chat with you young 'uns, keep up with fashions an' goin's on."

Ned hated being famous: "Hey, everybody! It's the substitute weather guy who wore a green sweater on camera and looked like he had a hole in his body!"

"...and the dish ran away with the other dish."

The Red Cat: Lights/Red Cat Humour/Rhyme.

'Delivery for Muhammad.'

"Does the Chamber of Commerce know about this?"

'Wow! She's fast. She even had time to do her shopping!'

Marriage counselor to the mimes: 'Let me know if I'm close- you're sad, 'cause she feels trapped in this marriage...?'

'He communicates his mood through his shoes.'

"There's no need to shout!"

Woman and dog with mobiles

Antique shop with 'the end is near' signs.

'We're all having to work harder in the music business now.' (Dog listens to four gramophones at once)

"When I was young, we did puzzles instead of going to the movies."

"In this corner, a man who describes everything as 'Orwellian.' And in this corner, a guy who loves saying 'Kafka-esque!'"

'Sorry, I'm kind of nostalgic. This is a printout of my first online flame war.'

"I think you just discovered a great visual metaphor for panic!"