Figure Of Speech Fan Gifts

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

Only a handful of people are this small.

Paul Klee

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Stephen Spender.

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

"Wow, what a DILF."

"Dave, quick word about religious symbols in the workplace..."

Pie Charts, Inc.

"I'd better get going. I've got a lot coming at me right now."

Medical Cabinet

"So let's all remember... 'Believe in yourself' and others will believe in you!"

"The people will not tolerate people speaking on behalf of the people any longer!"

Page from 'How to Draw' by Albrecht Durer

Davy Crocat

“Face it, dear...you’re a chair. You’ll see a lot of ends, but very few beginnings.”

'Not as easy as it looks?"

August Comte

Still a Disappointment to his Mother

Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov.

'Last quarter's sales figures were disappointing but don't be discouraged. Let's double our efforts and remember that it takes both sunshine and rain to make a rainbow.'

Christopher Marlowe

Pearls Before Swine is not a terribly savvy name

"Seriously, Ice-Skating? You want to try out Ice-Skating?!"

'Are you sure every artist paints himself?'

"Hello, everyone. My name is Mittens, and I'm addicted to catnip."

Ludwig van Beethoven

'Eleven foot poles - For things you wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole...'

"I wish you wouldn't keep bringing your work home with you, dear."

Pablo Picasso

"Can we cut across the park and avoid Colony Lane? There are three squirrels in an oak tree I’d like to avoid."

Communication on a bus

'Delivery for Muhammad.'

Philosopher