Speechmaking Fan Gifts

"The people will not tolerate people speaking on behalf of the people any longer!"

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

Exciting potato bugs.

Hanging off every word...

"I'm fascinated by body language."

"It's time to get politics out of money."

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

"Wow, what a DILF."

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

Danth battle?

When a speaker says '...to make a long story short,' you've already been there 3 hours.

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

"That's not what I meant by changing gear, Mrs.Robinson!"

Time for speeches

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

"So let's all remember... 'Believe in yourself' and others will believe in you!"

"I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman but, hang on a minute, I'm pretty sure I have the heart and stomach of a king, too..."

'I'm terribly sorry. I thought it said 'gods'.'

'I need to appear bold and decisive. Won't someone PLEASE ask me a yes or no question?'

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

'We should talk more.'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

GARDU VIN! (BEWARE!). Clown sees several pies to beware of.

''Big Society'...paradigm shift blah! Blah! Community spirit, neighbourhood cohesion, blah! Blah! Social inputs, perceptual platforms blah! Blah!'

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

A big dog at lectern.

Polo pony

'Franklin, you need to put more life into your presentations.'

'Last quarter's sales figures were disappointing but don't be discouraged. Let's double our efforts and remember that it takes both sunshine and rain to make a rainbow.'

"And now, representing rescue dogs everywhere..."

SELF-FULFILLMENT SEMINAR: 'Stop letting people walk on you'