Cat Speech Fans Gifts

"Hello, everyone. My name is Mittens, and I'm addicted to catnip."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Police Feline Unit

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

'Do you have any catsup?'

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

'Bloody favouritism I call it.'

Couple sitting in living room reading books while dog reads a book with a cat shaped cover.

Ricky discovers only cartoon cats can fly.

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

Fluffy explains her string theory.

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

How Amazon was invented

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

'Simply put, we are on our ninth life!'

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

"I'm fascinated by body language."

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"You're completely screwed up."

"She's all over YouTube."

'I just love that little fluffy grey kitten!'

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'Cat job interviews.'

Woman pins up a Lost Cat poster on a telegraph pole, but the cat is hiding from her behind the pole.