Speechmaking Fan T-Shirts

"The people will not tolerate people speaking on behalf of the people any longer!"

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

Hanging off every word...

"I'm fascinated by body language."

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

"It's time to get politics out of money."

"Wow, what a DILF."

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

Danth battle?

When a speaker says '...to make a long story short,' you've already been there 3 hours.

"That's not what I meant by changing gear, Mrs.Robinson!"

Time for speeches

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

"So let's all remember... 'Believe in yourself' and others will believe in you!"

GARDU VIN! (BEWARE!). Clown sees several pies to beware of.

"I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman but, hang on a minute, I'm pretty sure I have the heart and stomach of a king, too..."

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

'I'm terribly sorry. I thought it said 'gods'.'

'We should talk more.'

'I need to appear bold and decisive. Won't someone PLEASE ask me a yes or no question?'

''Big Society'...paradigm shift blah! Blah! Community spirit, neighbourhood cohesion, blah! Blah! Social inputs, perceptual platforms blah! Blah!'

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

A big dog at lectern.

'Franklin, you need to put more life into your presentations.'

'Last quarter's sales figures were disappointing but don't be discouraged. Let's double our efforts and remember that it takes both sunshine and rain to make a rainbow.'

SELF-FULFILLMENT SEMINAR: 'Stop letting people walk on you'

"And now, representing rescue dogs everywhere..."

'Sorry Binky, but there is no category for talking dogs.'