Ventriloquists Gifts

'You've been cleared of all sexual harassment charges. Mr. Chuckles, however...'

'Say 'Nessage in a gottle.' one more time and I'm putting you back in your box.'

"What do you mean I'm a control freak?"

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

Bride with a ventriloquist's dummy.

Ventriloquist Grave

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

"To 'click to enter' or not to 'click to enter'… that is the question."

Chuck didn't care what his therapist said; that is not where he left his dummy.

A cow ventriloquist.

'The dog ate my homework but it can be presented nonetheless because he's a passable ventriloquist.'

'I see the critics say I need a new partner.'

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

Ventriloquist Audition

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

"I'm not great at communication, but my little buddy is."

"So. Are you a mime, a puppeteer, or a ventriloquist?"

"No, I didn't just tell you to have one yourself!"

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

"We never talk anymore."

'Thanks for buying the ventriloquism instructional tapes. You are now listening to tape number one...'

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

When Ventriloquists get the hiccups.

"Last chance, or Max here has ways of making you talk."

Sorry, I'm already spoken for.

Leonard Cohen

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

'David, can't you speak for yourself?'