Ventriloquism Buff Gifts

Now remember, let me do the talking.

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"I have no thumbs."

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

Pope tarts.

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

Los Angeles' New Smart Meters

Bride with a ventriloquist's dummy.

Chuck didn't care what his therapist said; that is not where he left his dummy.

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

Nice park. . .

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

A cow ventriloquist.

Ventriloquist Grave

'The dog ate my homework but it can be presented nonetheless because he's a passable ventriloquist.'

'I see the critics say I need a new partner.'

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

'Opponents of democracy, such as Chavez and Putin, want unlimited executive power and limits on the media.'

Ventriloquist Audition

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

"Last chance, or Max here has ways of making you talk."

"No, I didn't just tell you to have one yourself!"

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

Shipwrecked Ventriloquist.