Ventriloquism Buff T-Shirts

Now remember, let me do the talking.

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"I have no thumbs."

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

Bride with a ventriloquist's dummy.

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

A cow ventriloquist.

Chuck didn't care what his therapist said; that is not where he left his dummy.

Ventriloquist Grave

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

Nice park. . .

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

'The dog ate my homework but it can be presented nonetheless because he's a passable ventriloquist.'

'I see the critics say I need a new partner.'

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

Ventriloquist Audition

'Opponents of democracy, such as Chavez and Putin, want unlimited executive power and limits on the media.'

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

'My 'friend' has this problem, Doctor!'

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

"... And who asked for your opinion, I'd like to know?!"

"No, I didn't just tell you to have one yourself!"

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

"Last chance, or Max here has ways of making you talk."

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy