Vehicle Tester Gifts

More professional training required for SUVs

Crash Test Dummy Funerals.

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

Rust test in progress.

"If all you have is a whatchamacallit then every problem looks like a thingamajig."

Product Testing Department

Cardiologist/Truckdiologist: Medical help for Trucks.

'We couldn't find anything wrong with your car, so all you owe us is for 2 hours of search.'

Crash test dummy employee of the month.

Former Auto Crash Dummy. Replaced By Driverless Car.

The Sex life of a Driving Test Examiner, "Thank you. I will not ask you to perform that manoeuvre again."

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

Disoriented while talking on his cell phone, Pat made a series of wrong turns in the unfamiliar office park.

"Don't let this one take any cars out for a test-drive!"

'The new helium airbag was a mistake.'

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

'They're not like popsickles, Sir. . . they're just too warm and syrupy.'

I'm a seat warmer test dummy.

"She says she's from Quality Control. We've failed the furniture inspection."

"Right I've checked everything 6 times. Surely nothing can go wrong this time."

Car dealer's sign: If you kick the tires, you've bought it!

'Which' Consumer Testing Whiskies

Crash Test Dummy Denied Insurance.

'It doesn't work...'

Test dummies in car, "Oh my god dave, look out for that wall!"

"You'd think they'd at least offer health insurance with this job."

At the National Whoopee Cushion Testing Facility.

'Now I know why this Satnav was going out cheap.'

'So how was work, Honey?'

Wall.

At the Flip-Flop Quality Control Center.

"If you didn't like your job, you should go into ventriloquism like your brother."

"Any accidents within the last twelve months?"

"Check the catalytic converter while you're in there, please."