Veggie Mixer T-Shirts

'My mum's not very hygienic... She cooks carrots and peas in the same pot!'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

'There are some good things about a vegetable garden. Dirt at your fingertips, for instance.'

"Whoever dug up my carrots had better learn to play dead, fast."

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

'That chap really knows his onions!'

"I discovered a way to get Steven to eat his vegetables. I put chocolate syrup on them."

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

"I got the kids to try more vegetables by putting sugar in the salt shaker."

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

"Don't try the candied yams and sweet peas, turns out they are vegetables."

"Good boy Alex! You've eaten all your vegetables again."

'This stuff isn't genetically engineered, is it?'

'My mom's planting broccoli and squash. I'm planting popcorn and jelly beans.'

The great zucchinis

"I'm sorry but I can't bring the dessert menu until you at least try to finish your peas and carrots, it's policy."

"This is going to ruin my ratio of protein to vegetables."

'The salad is that expensive because we had to find a new place for the snails and worms.'

Grandchildren's Menu: Whatever's on your plate and no funny business

"My biggest problem is squatters."

Still life?

'Stephen's down on the allotment, gathering in nature's bounty.'

'Mutter mutter...I was talking to my broccoli.'

Examine stored vegetables and throw out those which show signs of rotting.

Vegetarian taxidermy

Vine-Gripened Tomatoes

'You've got to cut back on your high fibre diet. That's not stubble, it's grass!'

'You can't beat home groan.'

Birds laughing at a scarecrow.

"From a risk management point of view, Mummy must urge you to eat your spinach."