Veggie Whisperers T-Shirts

'My mom grows vegetables as a hobby. Takes a lot of perverse pleasure in it.'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

'There are some good things about a vegetable garden. Dirt at your fingertips, for instance.'

"Save yourself — it’s a casserole!"

TV's hot new political show: Meet the Produce. From the left, a giant carrot. From the right, big broccoli. Let's be frank. The Republicans have no fiscal discipline. And the tax-and-spend liberals do? We're not ballooning the deficit! Waging war to promote freedom is not free! You stupid rotten vegetable! You're low in vitamin E! Cut to commercial.

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

"Mom told me to make my vegetables disapear."

"I'll race you to the top."

'That chap really knows his onions!'

“Children hate me.”

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

"I discovered a way to get Steven to eat his vegetables. I put chocolate syrup on them."

"I got the kids to try more vegetables by putting sugar in the salt shaker."

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

'And this is the secret of how our company gets through hard times: we grow all our own food!'

'The old man's really serious about his rooftop gardening.'

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

'For heaven's sake Armitage - can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category?'

'I'm sorry but I can't bring out the dessert menu until both of you have eaten your veggies, company policy.'

'The only thing I grow in my garden is tired!'

The vegan hunter

'No Jennifer! I never head of mad broccoli disease.'

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'

'Mommy has made this astonishing cake just to get you to eat your peas and provide valuable insight for your therapist in twenty years.'

'This stuff isn't genetically engineered, is it?'

"You know, if lima beans, cauliflower and broccoli tasted like candy and ice cream, we wouldn't have to go through this every night!"

Even garden plants like to visit.

"Psst. Pass it on. Tonight's the break!..."

Fruits and vegetables

Ernie got up on the wrong side of the garden bed again.