Veggie Romancer T-Shirts

'Your words say one thing, but your breath speaks the truth!'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

But is it organic?

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

At the market

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

The discovery of asparagus.

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Better Not Squash.

'What are you eating now?'

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

'There are some good things about a vegetable garden. Dirt at your fingertips, for instance.'

"No thanks, mom. I don't think I'll have any broccoli short cake."

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

'He's all eyes!'

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

Grocery Shopping

'I never thought my dirt would turn on me like this.'

'I've saved you all the sprouts - Mum said they are very good for us!'

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

'That chap really knows his onions!'

"My doctor says you should be drawing more fruits and vegetables."

"The transplant can be done anytime. We can always get artichoke hearts."

"I discovered a way to get Steven to eat his vegetables. I put chocolate syrup on them."

'Are they fat free, low carb, high fibre and organic?'

"I got the kids to try more vegetables by putting sugar in the salt shaker."

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

The Rabbit Meeting.