Veggie Dramatist T-Shirts

Why Shirley hates to eat genetic modified Broccoli.

Better Not Squash.

Veggie Hall of Fame.

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

Vegetarian Nightmare.

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

TV's hot new political show: Meet the Produce. From the left, a giant carrot. From the right, big broccoli. Let's be frank. The Republicans have no fiscal discipline. And the tax-and-spend liberals do? We're not ballooning the deficit! Waging war to promote freedom is not free! You stupid rotten vegetable! You're low in vitamin E! Cut to commercial.

If we build raised beds and a compost bin now

Taken genetic engineering too far

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

"Don't try the candied yams and sweet peas, turns out they are vegetables."

"I'd better not eat any more broccoli. I'm saving room for spiritual food."

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

"It's something I made myself - chocolate covered veggies."

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

"Which one on table three has gone for the vegetarian option?"

'No, you can't turn your vegetables into bio-fuel.'

'Mom, your diet says you can eat all the vegetables you want. Wow! A diet without vegetables!'

"Eat those veggies or I'll change the wifi password."

'So, that's settled - the eyes have it!'

"I remember when we wouldn't buy the bent knobbly ones. Now we pay twice as much for them."

'Look! I grew a carrot!'

"Good boy Alex! You've eaten all your vegetables again."

'I'm in a lot of trouble, but it's worth it. There's not enough dirt left to grow spinach.'

We've been working on them in the wind tunnel...

Dreams of Spring...

"Do we HAVE to be omnivores?"

It's Darth Tater!

'This stuff isn't genetically engineered, is it?'

'Oh... you're gonna eat those peas, mister.'

With my home genetic engineering kit, I've created massive, politically active vegetables. From the left, a giant carrot. From the right, big broccoli. It was an accident, but something feels right. Introducing Meet the Produce. Next topic: Trump. Losing. Winning.