Veggie Disguiser T-Shirts

"That's cheese sauce, or as mom likes to call it...'Broccoli Helper.'"

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

'There are some good things about a vegetable garden. Dirt at your fingertips, for instance.'

"I have an idea. How about I don't have to eat broccoli until I learn how to spell it."

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

'That chap really knows his onions!'

"I got the kids to try more vegetables by putting sugar in the salt shaker."

"I discovered a way to get Steven to eat his vegetables. I put chocolate syrup on them."

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

"Don't try the candied yams and sweet peas, turns out they are vegetables."

'Vegebals are poisonus says sciencetists'

'My parents are giving up desserts for Lent, so I'm balancing the family diet by giving up vegetables.'

'It's only a slug Norman.'

"Good boy Alex! You've eaten all your vegetables again."

'This stuff isn't genetically engineered, is it?'

'You wish, Timmy.'

The great zucchinis

'The salad is that expensive because we had to find a new place for the snails and worms.'

"My biggest problem is squatters."

Still life?

'Stephen's down on the allotment, gathering in nature's bounty.'

'Mutter mutter...I was talking to my broccoli.'

Examine stored vegetables and throw out those which show signs of rotting.

"I spilled the beans last night so I wouldn't have to eat them."

"We have a lot in common. We both hate homework, vegetables, bedtime, chores, long car trips. . ."

'Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

'You've got to cut back on your high fibre diet. That's not stubble, it's grass!'

"You always said I could be what ever I want to be. I want to be someone who doesn't eat vegetables."

Mystery vegetable growing in plot.