Vegetarian Guru Gifts

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

French wine

Vegetarian Birds

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

Queen of Quinoa

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Give quiche a chance!

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

Cheese

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

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