Vegetarian Experimenter Gifts

"It's her choice to become a vegetarian, but it's unfair that we're being fed tofu now!"

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

Before/After

Vegetarian Birds

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'My husband made my cake from scratch...even the candles.'

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

Italian Style Fish 'n' Chips

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

Macho Vegetarian

'I made it chocolate so it wouldn't show the dirt.'

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

The mission: Impossible burger.

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."