Vegetables Pillows

'So much for the theory that carrots will make you see better!'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"Sorry, I can't tell your parents you're allergic to broccoli."

Avocado Timeline

'No Jennifer! I never head of mad broccoli disease.'

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

'My parents are giving up desserts for Lent, so I'm balancing the family diet by giving up vegetables.'

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

Cucumber yearbooks,

'We're going green? - You mean like BROCCOLI and stuff?'

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

Animal and Mineral.

"I think we can take you off the cabbage diet now"

'I've told you before, I don't like broccoli.'

Fresh Corn and Dental Floss farmstands.

"Your drug test came back negative, and the lab requested that you cut back on the asparagus."

Advocado

'Offering fresh broccoli and cauliflower is a great idea, but it's created a thriving black market in fatty cheese sauce.'

"I ate those two extra Brussels sprouts mom wanted us to share. You owe me big time!"

"Your mother wants me to make parsnip soup. Would you Google and tell me what a parsnip is?"

'The stems are better for you.'

"I mind my mother, eat my broccoli and do my homework, but you won't tell the guys, will you?"

Food hierarchy: Top Banana; Big Cheese; 'king broccoli

"There's nothing new about green products. We've been eating them for years."

"I made a new year's resolution to eat spinach. If I can't stand it, I'll give it up for Lent."

'Look, we were really misled about how cool you were...Would you mind sitting at another table?'

All reduced 10...The prices? No, the vegetables.

"Oh, I do a little grass on occasion, but I avoid the heavy cruciferous greens."

The Mythical Unicorn.

asparagus tips...

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"No, there's nothing wrong. I just took a shortcut through the onions."

Dreaming of Spring (Onslaught of the garden catalogs).