Vegetables Gifts

'So much for the theory that carrots will make you see better!'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Avocado Timeline

"Sorry, I can't tell your parents you're allergic to broccoli."

'No Jennifer! I never head of mad broccoli disease.'

'My parents are giving up desserts for Lent, so I'm balancing the family diet by giving up vegetables.'

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

'We're going green? - You mean like BROCCOLI and stuff?'

"I think we can take you off the cabbage diet now"

Animal and Mineral.

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

Cucumber yearbooks,

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

'I've told you before, I don't like broccoli.'

Fresh Corn and Dental Floss farmstands.

'The stems are better for you.'

'My mom said eating carrots would help my eyesight, but she never mentioned other side effects.'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"Your mother wants me to make parsnip soup. Would you Google and tell me what a parsnip is?"

Food hierarchy: Top Banana; Big Cheese; 'king broccoli

"I mind my mother, eat my broccoli and do my homework, but you won't tell the guys, will you?"

Rabbit gives carrot as gift.

'Don't look at me like that! I know it's a banned substance, OK? But how can I compete if I'm the only one in the league not using spinach?!'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'First the sprouts, now the city...'

Dreaming of Spring (Onslaught of the garden catalogs).

The Mythical Unicorn.

'And I can do the procedure right here in my office.'

'Offering fresh broccoli and cauliflower is a great idea, but it's created a thriving black market in fatty cheese sauce.'

'Rotten teacher made us stay behind and eat salad...'

'Since I started eating 5 portions of fruit & veg a day I have to spend most of the working day on the toilet.'

'Look, we were really misled about how cool you were...Would you mind sitting at another table?'

"Your drug test came back negative, and the lab requested that you cut back on the asparagus."