Vegetable Enthusiast Gifts

The Perfect Garden.

'I didn't mean a p-e-a sample.'

Marrow transplants

'So much for the theory that carrots will make you see better!'

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

'We appreciate your concern, but as I've told you multiple times, Mr Turnip, youn just can't help us.'

'Son, it's time we told you. There are some people in this world who don't LIKE brussels sprouts...'

'Don't be mad, I'm just following your instructions.'

"I don't really hate vegetables...but they're my last line of defense before liver and onions."

"If I get too warm, I can always take a couple of layers off."

'Can't we have onions instead? I'm sick of leeks.'

"Why are you ploughing with a steam roller?" "I'm growing mashed potatoes."

"Of course our GM vegetables are safe, Madam, they told us so themselves!"

"Broccoli? Sometimes, Bill, I don't like what you bring to the table."

'You might want to lay off the carrots.'

North woman sells frozen vegetables.

Sweet potatoes...

-What did the carrot say to the onion? -What? -Nothing, vegetables don't talk!

"No cannabis up 'ere Sarge - just courgettes and lettuce."

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Rabbit gives carrot as gift.

'My mom said eating carrots would help my eyesight, but she never mentioned other side effects.'

'I have to be very careful when I eat...my Mother sneaks carrots into everything.'

'Yeah, my bad eyesight is probably due to too much reading in the dark...'

"Quick! It's the 45 minutes a year when tomatoes taste incredible!"

A rabbit peeling a carrot before he eats it.

Forbidden Vegetable

Eye Doctor. (Potato sits in waiting room.)

'I'll save the peas for later, when I can properly enjoy them in my room.'

Are you a root vegetable? I am too. Some people like to eat me and some people don't. Does it work that way with you? What garden did you come from? I'm from the garden over by ... The beet goes on, and on, and ...

Organic Transplant - "The patient is a strict vegetarian"

You mixed your DNA with that of a carrot? I've created a giant loud-mouthed left-leaning vegetable. Some would say that's redundant. Very funny. It's worse that that. The carrot doesn't share just my politics … You smell beautiful, like ranch dressing on a spring day. I do like a tall vegetable.

'Eat your purples!'

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

'Mi5 1st prize leek'