Vegetable Growing Gifts

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'I was hoping it was going to be bigger, but I'm still new to gardening.'

'Oh, not much. Well, still dabbling a bit in commodities futures.'

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

'And this is the secret of how our company gets through hard times: we grow all our own food!'

'You've never planted potatoes before have you?'

'Not a shed, just a shop.'

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'

'As you can see, we take the concept of local food very seriously...'

Paul was certain he had the largest pumpkin, until he discovered he was the smallest man.

Show and Tell.

'I think I'll go for a leek!'

'We tried everything...I'm afraid your husband's going to be a human.'

'Pssst...hey, buddy, I got the good stuff for all your urban farming needs!'

Middle Distance Runners

'This pea is the first vegetable that I've ever grown so I would like to have it stuffed and mounted.'

"Janet and Bob are coming to dinner on October 6th. Better plant eight more carrots and three more potatoes this spring."

'I think Ms. Ives wins hands down for the oddest shaped vegetable.'

Dreams of Spring...

'It's amazing how many recipes you can find with courgettes in them when you have to'

'That chap really knows his onions!'

"Whoever dug up my carrots had better learn to play dead, fast."

"Now we'll have no tomatoes this year..."

'Well, once it's won the prize for Biggest Marrow I shall expect you to replace my fence!'

Vine-Gripened Tomatoes

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

"It's a victory garden. And the weeds have won."

Prize Winning Potato - Champion Chips

"He finds this time of year very stressful."

Hell's Allotment Holders.

'Apart from Charlie here, I don't have any problems with slugs'

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

'You weigh 74 Kilogrammes, and the marrow weighs 75 kg!'

'Do you have garden pests?'

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."