Vegetable Security Analyst Gifts

'I expect God's far too busy to protect your cucumbers from terrorists, dear.'

Allotment

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"Steamed vegetables."

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

Frank & Ernie's Carrot, Beet, Potato Farm. Lunch break's over --- Shall we return to our roots?

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

"I can't make it out - on the packet it said radishes."

'What did I say about finishing your vegetables, Billy?'

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

Onion Tears

Vegetarian Birthdays.

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'Who says you're not genetically manipulated?'

Pea

Rap-scallions

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Avocado Timeline

'He's all eyes!'

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

Today: Tomato Surprise. Of course the tomato surprise doesn't impress you, sir … You’re not a tomato.

Untold Love Stories "Beauty and the Beets". We think you would be more beautiful if you dyed your hair a purplish red.

F&E Produce. I had interesting customers today. First, a beautician checked out the purple potatoes and yellow beets. Ah, a hair stylist inspected the colored roots! That card shark bought some fruit. Two pears, I'll bet! A journalist was searching for an onion alternative. He needs leeks! And labor negotiators requested to increase their usual vegetable order. They asked for a celery hike, eh? I think the customers are the best part of this job. Yeah, you never know who will turnip!