Vegetable Security Analyst T-Shirts

'I expect God's far too busy to protect your cucumbers from terrorists, dear.'

Allotment

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"Steamed vegetables."

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

"I can't make it out - on the packet it said radishes."

'What did I say about finishing your vegetables, Billy?'

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

Onion Tears

Rap-scallions

'Who says you're not genetically manipulated?'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Pea

Avocado Timeline

'He's all eyes!'

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'