Vegetable Innovator T-Shirts

"I don't care what mom calls them. I've never heard of a McBrussels Sprout before."

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

Frank & Ernie's Carrot, Beet, Potato Farm. Lunch break's over --- Shall we return to our roots?

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

"I can't make it out - on the packet it said radishes."

'What did I say about finishing your vegetables, Billy?'

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

Rap-scallions

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

'Who says you're not genetically manipulated?'

Onion Tears

The new green legislature requires methane mitigation.

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Avocado Timeline

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

'He's all eyes!'

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

"I'm now too old to produce milk, and I can't afford to retire as yet, so I've had to diversify..."