Vegan Cook Gifts

"They're veggie burgers. Why? What did you think they were?"

"Two vegans, please."

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

Vegetarian Birds

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"Charles didn't like tofu."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

Veggie Hall of Fame.

Twas the week before Christmas and all thru the house

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

"Now make sure your heat is high enough to sear your putrid meat quickly."

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

"Dig in. It's a medallion-of-veal look-alike."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

'It's the LAST time I volunteer to organise the staff Christmas meal, I've spent three days trying to find a 'traditional' lacto-vegan Christmas menu.'

'Smile and say: tofu-based dairy substitute.'

'Carrot salad, carrot casserole, carrot juice, carrot cake - I want steak!'

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

The Rabbit Meeting.

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

The Perfect Garden.

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."

"She's passed out...quick! take her pulses!"

Dale regretted going to the Vegan restaurant.

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' colour

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

'Real? No. They're all made out of soy and tofu. We wanted to crack the meatless industry up a few notches.'

"How almond milk is made"

Zombie Pulse Eating Vegans.

"I'll have a gluten-free, hypoallergenic vegan cookie with whipped hand-sanitizer topping."