Vegan Culinarian Gifts

Twas the week before Christmas and all thru the house

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

Vegetarian Birds

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"Two vegans, please."

"Charles didn't like tofu."

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

'I fell off the wagon, again... meat wagon that is.'

"Obviously, sir, it's a very discerning, vegetarian fly."

The Rabbit Meeting.

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' colour

'Real? No. They're all made out of soy and tofu. We wanted to crack the meatless industry up a few notches.'

"I love fruit."

Scientists Discover the Gene for Heterosexuality in Men

"And your tofu, would you like food with that?"

"Apparently we're reared by people who share the values of the people who eat us."

Where we get veggie burgers

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense."

'Not only do you get out of cooking tonight, but you found a place with a lazy chef too.'

Try our AMAZING Soups!

Free Range / Deranged

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

"Ok everyone. . . say, organic, soy-based tofu, dairy substitute."

"I know it's made of tofu, Paul, but you're missing the point."

Vegan Menu

"We'd like to promote the concept of a nontraditional Thanksgiving."

"Butcher!"

Veggie Hamburgers & Hotdogs. . .Ingredients: vegetables & vegetable byproducts.

Man in vegan retaurant: 'I'll eat anything with a pulse.'

Humpty Dumpty replaced by egg substitute.