Variety Seekers Gifts

"You got anything that doesn't have green tea in it?"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Bad for you but to die for

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'What clan do you belong to?'

Crap from the future.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

"Fresh pepper?"

Useless add-ons.

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

Three street vendors sit side by side selling their art; two of the vendors are selling normal paintings while the third is a Neanderthal selling cave paintings.

Mohammad's motors

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

Toenail clipping missile.

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

Scrooge is visited by the ghost of prehistoric past.

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

BOOKS ON VIDEO/BOOKS ON TAPE/READ YOUR OWN.

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

Goldie Locks and the three beers.