Food Variety Seeker Gifts

Hunting cavemen - 'We had that last week,'

Bad for you but to die for

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

At the market

"We're odd looking but just as good."

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

See you at the farmers market!

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

Vegetarian Birthdays.

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

Pea

'I told you not to order the chocolate cream surprise.'

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

"Our cook caught today's special. What makes it so special is that we have no idea what it is. We're coping it's edible."

"What's cookin', Tia Carmen?"

Cheeky boy and putting 'leeks' sign on toilet.

Forbidden Vegetable

Horse meat scandal.

You mixed your DNA with that of a carrot? I've created a giant loud-mouthed left-leaning vegetable. Some would say that's redundant. Very funny. It's worse that that. The carrot doesn't share just my politics … You smell beautiful, like ranch dressing on a spring day. I do like a tall vegetable.

Nothing puts the flavor in a hot dog like a sports event.

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

Today: Tomato Surprise. Of course the tomato surprise doesn't impress you, sir … You’re not a tomato.

Hot Rinzelophtats

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

"I'm right off my quinoa doc."

Then I rapidly add cream and butter to the sauce. Ah, get rich quick!

F&E Produce. I had interesting customers today. First, a beautician checked out the purple potatoes and yellow beets. Ah, a hair stylist inspected the colored roots! That card shark bought some fruit. Two pears, I'll bet! A journalist was searching for an onion alternative. He needs leeks! And labor negotiators requested to increase their usual vegetable order. They asked for a celery hike, eh? I think the customers are the best part of this job. Yeah, you never know who will turnip!

"That's not fair. I do not only visit you once a year on National Asparagus Day."