Food Variety Gifts

Balanced diet.

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

6 Brothers Falafel

La Table

But is it organic?

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

Advocado

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

All Natural Nothing

Queen of Quinoa

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

The discovery of asparagus.

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

'What are you eating now?'

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

Spontaneous Kombucha

Better Not Squash.

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

Vegetarian Birthdays.