Vegetable Seeker Gifts

"Wow yes, it's a lovely garden, but I can only see flowers: not a carrot in sight..."

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Advocado

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

"We're odd looking but just as good."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

Vegetarian Birthdays.

Pea

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

'Needs more kale.'

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

Runner Bean...

Tree's Tree Nursery. Get this. Dad is selling those goofy upside-down tomato planters. What idiot would buy them? Thanks! I'll let you know how it works! My idiotic bio teacher.

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

Macho Vegetarian

'Not here, Fred.'

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

"I think we can take you off the cabbage diet now"

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

You mixed your DNA with that of a carrot? I've created a giant loud-mouthed left-leaning vegetable. Some would say that's redundant. Very funny. It's worse that that. The carrot doesn't share just my politics … You smell beautiful, like ranch dressing on a spring day. I do like a tall vegetable.

"In my previous life I was arugula."

Artichoking victim

Untold Love Stories "Beauty and the Beets". We think you would be more beautiful if you dyed your hair a purplish red.

"That's not fair. I do not only visit you once a year on National Asparagus Day."

Today: Tomato Surprise. Of course the tomato surprise doesn't impress you, sir … You’re not a tomato.

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

Forbidden Vegetable

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

Cheeky boy and putting 'leeks' sign on toilet.

F&E Produce. I had interesting customers today. First, a beautician checked out the purple potatoes and yellow beets. Ah, a hair stylist inspected the colored roots! That card shark bought some fruit. Two pears, I'll bet! A journalist was searching for an onion alternative. He needs leeks! And labor negotiators requested to increase their usual vegetable order. They asked for a celery hike, eh? I think the customers are the best part of this job. Yeah, you never know who will turnip!

The Perfect Garden.