Validation Expert Gifts

Parking validation

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

"How'd I do on the test?"

"The official measure of an inch is three iPhones stacked on top of each other."

Foxhole - digging robot

Congratulations Strike Over!

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"The boss loves the positive feedback he gets every time he says something."

I'm ego surfing right now, looking up my name on different search engines.

'The really scary part is that he is the new head of human resources.'

And if you press that one, somebody will come in and tell you what a great job you're doing.

'I need my lifestyle validated.'

"Is it ne'er do wells, or ne'ers do well?"

'Don't give up Albert - one of these cans has to have tuna in it!'

'If you think current GPS systems are annoying when they're Recalculating, you'll really hate the next big thing coming.'

'And I have an overwhelming desire to be needed...'

Robot Olympics

"Any plaudits for me while I was out, Miss Jenkins?"

"When I said 'do everything for me,' I didn't mean drink my beer and eat my pizza."

"How can I feel validated without my own security detail?"

Let the profit-making begin!

'What's he going to be when he passes all his exams?' 'A pensioner!'

"This test wasn't fair! No way it's an accurate measure of what I know!"

"May I have your attention? For Christmas, all I want is for everyone to write a note on how smart, charming and social I am. I'm collecting college reference letters before I enter my terrible teens."

'I need my lifestyle validated.'

'Before we give him your job, could you show him around the plant?'

Forged signed memorabilia.

"Relax, relax. There's plenty more where that came from."