Evaluation Expert Gifts

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

"How'd I do on the test?"

"It's time for your performance review where I damn you with faint praise."

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

"Is it ne'er do wells, or ne'ers do well?"

Let the profit-making begin!

'What's he going to be when he passes all his exams?' 'A pensioner!'

"Done with the evaluations? Great! Now let's evaluate the evaluations!"

"Has it been in your family long?"

Parking validation

"I think it's an early version of facebook."

'You say here you're a people person.'

"This test wasn't fair! No way it's an accurate measure of what I know!"

'Government performance targets reach unprecedented levels.'

"It all began with trying to measure project outcomes."

'And as a new client of our law firm, you get this nifty neck brace to wear in court.'

"Buying stuff online has rekindled Sean's literary ambitions. They're always asking for customer reviews."

"I didn't go to college, but I took out and am defaulting on school loans to make it look like I did."

"Also, that random comment you made three years ago will count against you."

At a guess I'd say that the feedback was probably pretty good!

Expert and Ex-Pert

"He's still planning what to watch on TV tonight."

'I took GCSE English, so how am I supposed to know what that means?'

"Well, was the claim evidence-based?"

Law school acronym test.

"Of course, it's full of woodworm, we breed them..."

'Felton,has it occured to you that you may have taken a talent for self-effacement a bit too far?'